The Breakfast Club
by TantalumCobolt
Summary: James and Will break into - sorry, are invited into - Avengers Tower one morning. In addition to receiving free pancakes (àl a James), the Avengers (minus Natasha who seems to know everything) meet two of Clint's brothers. [MI/Avengers x-over with guest star James Bond]


**AN: I've seen a few stories where James Bond is the eldest Barton sibling and I liked the idea so much I decided to try my own hand at it. Not sure how well this worked out but I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments :)**

All going well, there may be a sequel to this up at some point.It is unanimously decided at the first official Avengers meeting (unofficially dubbed the 'we're a team so we should probably start acting like one' meeting) that having six strong-headed superheroes living under a single roof would be a terrible idea. It is also not-so-unanimously decided that they should start doing team-y things (no points for guessing who opposed that particular ruling). The latter decision leads to what becomes a ritual, of sorts.

Whenever Tony throws one of his fancy parties at the Tower, the rest of the team will stay the night in any of the numerous guest rooms and the next morning they'll make an attempt at bonding over breakfast. And if Tony, for some inexplicable reason, doesn't throw a party one month (which has only happened once to date because everyone thought he was dead - again), they'll meet up and go out for breakfast at some out of the way café that only Tony has ever heard of.

This particular morning they're all at the Tower and only Steve and Thor aren't at least a little bit hungover. Although, Steve is beginning to think that maybe he should have made a better effort to get completely smashed last night because his sober self is struggling to deal with what he's seeing in the kitchen.

Leftover guests aren't completely unusual after Tony's parties, but they're usually people the Avengers know and can remember seeing at the party the night before. And Steve can't remember seeing these guys anywhere... Not to mention that the leftover guests don't usually make themselves at home cooking breakfast and reading the morning paper.

"Good morning," he nevertheless says because Steve Rogers was brought up polite and he hasn't forgotten the value of manners thank you very much.

"Morning Captain," Stranger #1, the one standing at the stove flipping pancakes, responds. The British accent casts Steve's mind back to memories of Peggy, but the accent is where the resemblance ends. He's built like a soldier, tall and buff, with worry lines ageing his face.

"I seem to be at a disadvantage," Steve admits, lingering by the bench in lieu of cutting a path straight to the coffee machine like he normally does. "You know who I am but I'm afraid I don't know who you are."

The Brit holds out the hand not wielding a spatula. "James."

Steve extends his own hand. James' hands are calloused from years of hard work and his handshake is firm and strong. It's a soldier's handshake and the soldier in Steve feels an inkling of respect for the man, though he has no particular reason to.

"The quiet one is Will," James adds, indicating the man sitting at the breakfast bar, his face hidden behind a newspaper.

The newspaper lowers and... Wow. Okay. Will, was it?

"You look like Clint," Steve utters because it's so obvious it needs to be said.

Will's lips curve upwards in a faint attempt at a smile. "Indeed I do," he mutters.

Then he goes back to reading the newspaper and the kitchen falls into an awkward silence. Steve gets his coffee and perches on a stool two down from Will while James whistles a tune that sounds oddly like the A-Team theme as he transfers the cooked pancakes from the pan to a plate.

"Tell your brother the first batch is ready," he instructs Will, setting the plate, piled high with blueberry pancakes, on the table in front of Steve.

Will doesn't move but not two minutes later the lift doors open down the hall and Clint appears, followed closely by a bleary-eyed Natasha. The archer plops down on the stool beside Will and Natasha gracefully takes a seat on Steve's other side. A mug of coffee is immediately placed in front of her and she inhales it with newfound enthusiasm for the day, sending James a grateful smile.

Steve stares between her and James and Clint and Will and comes to the conclusion that he's the only one not surprised to see the two strangers in the kitchen. It dawns on him that they're probably not strangers to Clint and Natasha at about the same time the lift doors open and Tony, Bruce and Thor spill out onto the floor. Then there are four confused and hungry Avengers instead of just one.

Tony takes it all rather well considering James and Will pretty much broke into his tower. The billionaire utters a "huh" as he blinks between the two strangers eating breakfast in his kitchen, then shrugs and makes a beeline for the coffee machine, muttering to JARVIS about having too much blood in his caffeine system.

Bruce takes off his glasses to polish them on the hem of his cardigan, just to make sure he's really seeing two strange men in the kitchen, Steve assumes. He murmurs a "good morning", skirting around James on his way to the cupboard with the teabags, then mumbles something about Bartons and blood pressure before making a quick exit. Steve envies Bruce's rather smart decision to escape before all hell inevitably breaks loose, but someone has to stick around and supervise the children (*cough* Tony *cough*) and it may as well be him.

Thor grins boisterously at the sight of the blueberry pancakes and welcomes their new friends with hearty slaps on the back and a toast to good food and good company (well, Steve assumes that's what the garbled words he'd uttered around a mouthful of pancakes were). James bears the thunder god's salutations rather well, all things considered, smiling in a way that screams 'I'm only tolerating you because I don't fancy being arrested for killing you'.

Will is not so receptive. Other than reaching out to snag a piece of Clint's pancake, he doesn't show any interest in engaging with his brothers or the Avengers who have scattered themselves around the spacious kitchen. Steve watches him out of the corner of his eye as he shovels the surprisingly delicious pancakes into his mouth. He wonders if maybe there's something wrong with Will, then feels immediately guilty for thinking it.

He turns his gaze to Clint, who has pushed his half-finished plate aside in favour of pillowing his head on his arms and vocally bemoaning his existence.

"You didn't have to come," the archer mutters sulkily.

James only laughs and pats him on the head consolingly. "Of course we did, little brother. You clearly can't be trusted to take care of yourself."

Clint swats James' hand away, protesting that he is "absolutely fine" and that he "thought the whole point of having Natasha around was so that you idiots don't have to come and coddle me."

Steve smothers a laugh at the archer's irritated tirade. Clint's sulking may lend to the appearance that he's annoyed his brothers have shown up out of the blue, but the pleased smile that tugs at his lips says otherwise.

"So is there a special occasion?" Tony demands once he's finished his cup of coffee and is halfway to functioning like a normal (for Tony) human being. "Or did you guys break into my tower to make pancakes for shits and giggles? Not that I'm complaining," he adds almost as a second thought. "Because those pancakes were pretty amazing."

James sets his mug down, looking the very picture of relaxed, leaning a hip against the breakfast bar and spearing the last of Clint's pancakes with a fork he'd procured from somewhere. Will sets the newspaper aside and picks up his brother's abandoned coffee instead. Steve makes a mental note that caffeine is a priority for all Bartons, not just Clint.

"I do apologise for the intrusion, Mr Stark, but we didn't break in," James informs them in his best diplomatic voice. "Natalia invited us up."

Natasha looks up at the mention of her name. "I invited you up so that you didn't have to break in," she says. "And only because you promised pancakes."

James grins at her. "And here I thought it was because you've missed me."

Natasha manages to make even the action of snorting ladylike. "In your dreams, Bond."

"Are these gentlemen friends of yours then, Lady Natasha?" Thor asks around a mouthful of pancake.

The thunder god had been so oddly quiet that Steve had almost forgotten he was there. Really not good for captaincy and team leading and all that jazz if he can't keep track of his teammates, but it does prove that Thor has adapted well to the art of eating quietly and behaving acceptably in unexpected social situations so Steve gives himself points anyway.

"They're Clint's brothers," Natasha says.

Thor nods gravely. "Ah. You must be proud of the mighty warrior our Hawk has become," he tells James.

Will snickers and all eyes are immediately drawn to him. He reddens slightly under their stares but grins brightly and reaches out to poke Clint in the side.

"Hear that, bro?" He crows. "They think you're a mighty warrior!"

Clint shoves Will's shoulder in retaliation and James has to reach out and pull them apart before their squabbling starts a war (which isn't an exaggeration; the shadow war of '03 is particularly memorable). He gives each of them a warning look and they still immediately.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" Steve wonders aloud. "I can never get Clint to stop doing stupidly reckless things."

"Hey!" Clint protests, at the same time James says, "It's all in the eyebrows."

With his usual flare for redirecting all attention onto him, Tony leans forward eagerly. "So can you give us any dirt on our favourite metaphorically feathered friend?"

Natasha's elbow is swift in finding Tony's side. The billionaire yelps and stumbles back from the breakfast bar they've all crowded around, taking refuge behind James.

"You get no points for tact and no points for appropriate timing," the Russian assassin informs Tony, waving a pancake-laden fork in a vaguely threatening manner.

"They broke into my tower!" Tony exclaims. "What better time than the present?"

"Haven't we already established that we didn't-" James begins, but Will cuts him off.

"I don't mean to be rude, but the present really isn't a good time, Mr Stark," he says. "We don't get a lot of days off that match up and we haven't seen Clint in eight months. We'd like to spend today bonding - no, James, that was not a pun - not just sitting around the kitchen playing twenty questions with people who have little better to do than gossip. I'm sure your buddy JARVIS can get you more 'dirt' on Clint than we'd be willing to give you."

While everyone in the room is stunned following this speech, Will pushes away from the breakfast bar and strides towards the lifts. After draining the last of his coffee, Clint scrambles to follow his twin and they disappear behind the metal doors together.

With little else to do, Steve joins Tony and Thor in gawking at James. Natasha sets her cutlery aside and sips her coffee thoughtfully.

"What just happened?" the super soldier asks no one in particular.

James sighs, brushing imaginary lint off his jacket. "I must apologise for Will. He gets in these... moods sometimes and behaves like an idiot. Please do not take personal offence."

"You want me to talk to him?" Natasha offers.

James seems to really consider the offer before shaking his head. "Clint will sort him out."

"Either that, or they'll team up to behave like idiots together," Natasha points out.

That makes James pause. "You're right," he sighs. "As usual. I had better go find them before they blow something up."

Steve sits up straighter. "Thy wouldn't-"

"I assure you, they would," James says.

Thor looks almost gleeful at the prospect of blowing something up and Tony looks stricken that he may have to rebuild and redecorate again so soon. Steve just hopes they don't injure themselves in the process.

James sets down his fork and pushes away from the breakfast bar. He smiles at each of them in turn. "It was a pleasure to meet you." He nods at Natasha. "And, as always, a pleasure to see you Natalia."

Then he strolls out of the kitchen as though he hadn't just broke into (okay, been let into) Avengers Tower and cooked them all blueberry pancakes at eight o'clock in the morning. As per usual, Tony is the one who eventually breaks the silence that has fallen in James' wake.

"Wait a second, why the hell was he calling you Natalia?" he demands, pointing at the redhead in question.

Natasha just smirks.

Steve sighs. Yet another mystery factor to add to the enigma that is Natasha Romanoff. At least Clint is less of an enigma now that they know he has brothers... Or does that just make him more enigmatic?

Steve shakes the thoughts from his head. He's beginning to think he should just give up trying to understand the team's two master assassins.

Right after he figures out why the name James Bond sounds so damn familiar...


End file.
